


Warm Leatherette

by mx_vertiginous



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Car Accidents, Car Sex, Genitals are not gender, Hand Jobs, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 11:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mx_vertiginous/pseuds/mx_vertiginous
Summary: The Good Omens horsemen x Crash fic that no one ever asked for.





	Warm Leatherette

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Warm Leatherette by The Normal. Which was in turn inspired by JG Ballard’s Crash.

A seemingly endless ribbon of parched asphalt unrolled in front of them. The Mercedes sucked it up like licorice. 

It was a beautiful machine, Pollution thought to themselves. Modern cars were a wonder of waste. There was the petrol, of course, the beasts had wasted loads petrol since the model T. But a car like this was made of layers and layers of things. The plastics that went into the airbags, now helpfully padding nearly every inch of the passenger compartment. Just in case. The lightweight synthetic crumple zones that needed replacement after every little bump or bruise; crunched bumpers sprung up like wildflowers along the shoulder of the highway. And the dash itself, sleek and elegant, chock full of rare minerals sucked from open pits and refined into touchscreens, edged in flashy carbon fiber. 

It was brand new, of course. They’d just drove off from a dealership in Dallas where Famine had done all the talking. He understood how business was done in America, and was happy to take on the negotiations, especially since the salesman plied him with tiny shots of single origin espresso. Pollution had stood around looking decorative and terrifying; War had been giving them lessons and there was a sick thrill in being seen. Particularly as it resulted in a wake of empty dealer-branded plastic water bottles.

But for the past several hours, it had just been them and the road, occasionally zipping by the big-rigs that lumbered through the West Texas desert like elephants. Famine napped in the laid back passenger seat. And shiny oil-spots had just begun to form at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel. 

Their hand had been resting on Famine’s thigh just long enough to leave a another spreading grease stain on his trousers, before he awoke with a start. “It’s cold in here….” He popped his seat back to vertical and started fiddling with the climate system.

“Ugh, 85 degrees? I’m going to melt into the fucking seat.” Their hand slid to the waist of his trousers

“Shouldn’t you be driving?”

“Cruise control, luv, set just faster than the semis so we don’t have to bother with the slow lane” they smirked, fiddling with his belt. 

Famine chuckled in response and leaned his seat back down again, taking care of the belt and zipper for them. “Keep your eyes on the road at least.”

“Eyes on the road?” They snaked a hand down the waistband of his Y-fronts “You’re like an old lady.”

Famine gave a deep groan as they caressed thick crude oil over the folds of his desiccated pussy. “That’s why we make such a good pair. Fuck that feels amazing.” 

The Mercedes ate up another 40 miles of road as Famine’s groans and whines grew increasing insistent. Pollution finally gave into temptation and started fiddling with their own trousers, only to have Famine swat at their hand.

“Oh, come on, keep one hand on the wheel at least. I’ve got you.” He roughly ripped down their zipper, and pulled out their half hard cock, slick with a thin film of toxic oils. “That good?”

“Fuck yes,” their dick throbbed under his touch. Pollution resisted the urge to throw their head back in enjoyment, knowing it would just get them a cranky admonition to keep their eyes on the road. Or worse yet, he might stop. 

The Mercedes ate up another 10 miles of road, before the touchscreen console lit up with a call from War. Pollution was losing track of their attention, but it took only a couple taps on the steering wheel to pull Carmen up on videoconference from whatever war had her in that godforsaken jungle. They didn’t feel like answering any questions, so flicked it onto mute and gave her the finger. War appeared to laugh in response, and settled back to watch.

Finally, Pollution was too close to stand it anymore, “You good with this?” they gasped.

Famine gave a baritone moan as they slipped a greasy finger into his cunt. “Yeah… do it…”

Pollution tapped a few buttons, turning off both the cruise and collision control system, glanced quickly past Famine writhing in his seat to the passenger side mirror. A quick flick of their hand on the wheel and the Mercedes careened into the path of the nearest semi, then, with a sickening crunch of solid steel grill against fiberglass bumper, the car spun and flipped off the road. 

The trucker kept going.

Brain rattled, left leg shattered and oozing oil out of a heavy cut on their forehead, Pollution shoved aside the embarrassment of airbags and half crawled, half toppled into the passenger seat on top of Famine. He clung to them tightly, upright sobbing with some heady cocktail of pain and lust. Shoving his pants down, they shoved their dick into his cunt, with a feral shriek. They were so close already, it took only a few thrusts before they were completely undone, filling him with toxic, blood-dark cum and collapsing unconscious.

* * *

After some unknown period of time, they briefly awoke to Famine slapping their face. “Come; on… wake up just enough to hear me. The firemen are here.”

They groggily refocused on his face, it was covered with a heavy spattering of crude oil. 

“Poll, if you’re in there… turn off your vitals, so when they find us like this…”

Pollution flickered their eyes and smiled weakly, “… they’ll think we’re dead.”

They slowed their heart to a glacial crawl as the first fireman put an axe threw the window and showered them both in a rain of glittering glass.


End file.
